Mother’s Day and the Body of Christ

An Annual Tradition

During our weekly staff meeting, we have been discussing how, and even whether, to honor Mother’s Day during our Sunday corporate worship service.

Wait…what? “Why wouldn’t you?” someone might say.

It’s a complex issue for at least two reasons. First, Mother’s Day is not, strictly speaking, a “Christian” holiday, nor does it have an explicit biblical basis. It was established through the efforts of Ann Jarvis, beginning in 1905 in Philadelphia, and it eventually became a national US holiday in 1914 (from which it spread to other countries). Many Christians are, therefore, uncomfortable honoring such a holiday in a church service (regardless of its good intentions). What’s to stop us from honoring, say, Valentine’s Day, President’s Day, Halloween, or numerous other essentially secular observances in the same way?

Second, by definition Mother’s Day is a life-stage related holiday that, in theory, limits itself to only certain people in the church body. While everyone supports honoring your own mother, for many people “Mother’s” Day brings up difficult emotions. For those who are married but childless (and wish they were not), who are single but desire to be married, who have lost a child, who had abusive mothers, who have recently been bereaved of their mother, and many others, Mother’s Day can be a day of sadness, not joy.

Hence our annual debate: how, if at all, should we factor Mother’s Day into our Sunday service? Whether we do a lot to acknowledge it, or nothing at all, there are several unintended consequences.

I’m not sure I have a one-size-fits-all answer. However, I thought it might be helpful to provide some thoughts on how the Bible beautifully speaks to the entire spectrum that Mother’s Day embodies, from joy to sadness and everywhere between.

The wonderful thing about Scripture is that it not only acknowledges our life stages and the goodness of them (even when marred by sin), it also dignifies all of us as image-bearers of God, which transcends life stages.

So I’ll trace out a few biblical lines of thought that indicate how Mother’s Day is a blessing for the entire body of Christ.

For All Mothers

Scripture dignifies the goodness of motherhood by placing the commandment to “honor your father and mother” at the head of the second section of the Ten Commandments that deals with loving others (Exod 20:2). Respect owed to one’s mother is codified at the heart of God’s moral law! Paul later reiterates this in Eph 6:1-3, where he mentions this commandment as the “first one with a promise.”

It is also worth pointing out that, while the first person of the Triune God reveals himself as “Father,” he does not possess “sex” in the way humans do. While the paternal metaphor is decisive, He does describe himself through material metaphors as well (i.e. as a woman in labor; as a mother bear; as a mother comforting her children). Even Jesus adopts a maternal “mother bird” metaphor for himself (Luke 13:34).

There is something wonderful and good about the relationship of love and respect between a mother and her children.

For Birth Mothers

But the roots of this go even further back. Paul, in reflecting on the Genesis account of creation, remarks how “woman came from man” (Eve from Adam’s rib), but for the rest of history “man comes from woman” (1 Cor 11:12).

Though this process of childbearing will be tainted in numerous ways by the fall (Gen 3:16), there is enormous dignity given to the role of women who become mothers and physically give birth to the next generation!

For Adoptive Mothers

Scripture also presents us with a wonderful theology of adoption. Indeed, it is one of the foundational ways we should understand our relationship with God (Rom 8:15).

But there is also special attention given to becoming an adoptive parent, such as the adoption of Ephraim and Manasseh as heirs by Jacob (Gen 48:5) and the adoption of Esther by Mordecai.

Most distinctly, Stephen gives high commendation to Pharaoh’s daughter, who adopted Moses “and brought him up as her own son” (Acts 7:21), referring to Exodus 2. The relationship between a mother and her adopted child is a wonderful gift of God.

For Bereaved Mothers

There may be fewer pains so immense as the untimely death of a mother’s child. All death is an encroachment on God’s original plan (Rom 5:12), but the breaking of the pattern such that a child dies before his/her parent is particularly tragic. For these mothers in particular, “Mother’s Day” is a garment that fits, but like sackcloth.

Scripture describes a variety of women who mourn the death of a child. The first mother, Eve, lost her son Abel in the most terrible of circumstances (Gen 4). Bathsheba’s first child by David died after a few short days of life (2 Sam 12). Naomi endured the death of both her sons, leaving her childless and widowed (Ruth 1:5). The story of these women is the story of many.

Perhaps the most poignant picture of the bereaved mother is that of Mary, the mother of Jesus. From the time of his birth, God informed Mary that because of this child, “a sword will pierce through your own soul also” (Luke 2:35). And who can forget the tragic fulfillment of this prediction, when Mary witnesses her own son’s death (John 19:25).

But even in the midst of that sorrow we have the tender love of Jesus himself, as he commits the care of his own mother to his beloved friend, John (John 19:27).

For Bereaved Children

For many, the sting of Mother’s Day lies in a different direction: their own mother has already died, leaving only, perhaps, an annual visit to a graveside to place flowers.

Scripture speaks openly about the pain of losing one’s mother. The portrayal of Isaac and Sarah is particularly notable. After Sarah died, not only did her husband Abraham mourn her extensively (Gen 23), but we read later that Isaac “was comforted after his mother’s death” via his marriage to Rebekah (Gen 24:67), showing that the death of his mother grieved him.

The Bible is honest about how the children of a mother, even an imperfect one, are profoundly affected by her death.

For Grandmothers

Mother’s Day is also a special time to celebrate those who are multi-generational mothers. There is often a special relationship that is formed between a grandmother and her grandchildren.

It’s unclear how many sweets Timothy’s grandmother Lois gave him in his younger years, but Paul makes it absolutely clear that her spiritual influence was massive: “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well” (2 Tim 1:5). This is a beautiful picture of how the faith of a grandmother can set the course for not only her children, but her children’s children!

(It is also excellent that the Greek word for “grandmother” in this passage is mammē. Seriously! Doubtless this settles the age-old conundrum of picking your “grandma name.”)

For Wives Struggling to Have Children

The celebration of Mother’s Day can be, for women who struggle with infertility, an intensely difficult day. They desire to be a mother. It may be the foremost ache of their hearts. My wife and I have known this silent suffering. In many churches, women who are married and desire children but cannot, for a variety of reasons, have them often feel left to grieve in the shadows, particularly in a nuclear-family-oriented church era.

Scriptures once again speak to the difficulties of barrenness. Indeed, it is a theme that is prominent in a variety of key places in both OT and NT: Abraham and Sarah (Gen 11:30); Isaac and Rebekah (Gen 25:21); Jacob and Rachel (Gen 30:1); Manoah and his wife (Judg 13:2); Elkanah and Hannah (1 Sam 1:2); and Zechariah and Elizabeth (Luke 1:7).

God hears the silent sobs of these women. And what I find particularly poignant about some of these situations is the affectionate care shown by their husbands, who are seen praying for their wives.

For Wives With No Children

In the situations of barrenness described above, God chooses to intervene and grant these women a child.

But many women, both then and today, are married but do not ever have children, either by choice or by life circumstance (medical reasons, etc.). Within many church circles, this life stage can be quite disorienting, especially if nearly every sermon illustration or ministry seems to focus on raising kids.

While the Bible no doubt affirms the goodness of procreation, it also recognizes married women who, so far as the evidence shows, do not have children. Priscilla and Aquila are marquee examples. They appear regularly in Acts (ch. 18) and Paul’s letters (Romans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Timothy). They were fellow-workers with Paul, conveners of a house church, and missionaries who “risked their necks” for the gospel (Rom 16:4). Scripture is silent on whether they had children, but given their extensive travels and apparent risk-taking (perhaps even imprisonment or martyrdom), it seems unlikely.

There may be many reasons why a woman might be married but have no children, but Scripture ascribes great value to their role in the body of Christ.

For Single Mothers

Father, mother, and 2.5 children. For many in the church, this is the only picture of a “biblical” family. The American dream in a nutshell.

But reality is not always so tidy. Many Christian women for a variety of reasons (crisis pregnancy, death of a husband, divorce, etc.) find themselves in the position of being the sole parent. There is no husband buying them flowers on Mother’s Day. They often do not find it easy to “fit in” at church.

But Scripture, once more, speaks to this challenging reality. Hagar is perhaps the clearest example. She was, in effect, used by Abraham and Sarah as a solution to their own infertility—and then cast out of the home, leaving Hagar a single (and homeless) mother. Yet God hears her cries and ministers to her in the wilderness by an angel, promising to bless her through her trials (Gen 16:1-12).

Wonderfully, Hagar gives a name to the LORD in this scene: “the God who sees” (Gen 16:13). She has encountered a God who has seen her in her plight and not abandoned her. May the church do the same.

For Single Women

The fact that “Mother’s Day” inherently comprises a specific life stage can be very challenging for single women.

Many women in the body of Christ have a deep longing to be married and bear lots of children, but for whatever reason that may not be their lived reality at present. Mother’s Day can be a harsh reminder of that unmet desire.

Other women may have a distinct sense of calling (temporarily or perhaps for their entire lives) to remain single and serve the kingdom of God in a different way.

(Indeed, the very terminology of “unmarried” is not altogether helpful, since it defines a group of people by negating [‘un’] a life stage [‘married’] and conveying that married-ness is the target state for which they fall short.)

Wherever a single woman falls on this spectrum in how she processes where God has her right now, Scripture grants her immense dignity. First, Paul famously argues that it is, according to kingdom economics, perhaps even better to remain single (if possible), so that the entanglements of marriage and child-rearing might not detract from service to the church (1 Cor 7:8, 25-35).

Second, Scripture speaks of numerous women who were (so far as the evidence goes) single and served as instrumental figures in the people of God: Miriam (Exod 15:20), Deborah (Judg 4), Huldah (2 Kgs 22:14), Anna (Luke 2:36), Mary Magdalene, Phoebe (Rom 16:1-2), Chloe (1 Cor 1:11), Nympha (Col 4:15), to name a few.

Sadly, many churches send the message the being single is to be on the “JV team,” waiting for promotion to the “varsity team” via marriage. Scripture, however, sees women in this life circumstance as complete image-bearers and invaluable to the kingdom of God.

For Mothers-in-Law

Mother’s Day is also a special time for many to to honor the woman who becomes like a mother through the marriage bond. Though jokes and eye-rolls about “in-laws” abound, Scripture ascribes importance to these unique inter-family relationships forged by marriage.

Peter’s mother-in-law is identified specifically in all three Synoptic Gospels as a specific recipient of a miraculous healing by Jesus (Matt 8:14; Mark 1:30; Luke 4:38). Moreover, Jesus identifies the importance of the “in-law” relationship when he describes how his ministry will at times be a divisive force within families (Luke 12:53).

But doubtless the story of Naomi and Ruth is the most famous and touching story of the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. Though often read at weddings and applied to married couples, the famous lines—”Where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16)—are actually spoken by Ruth to her mother-in-law Naomi. The rest of the narrative plays out the depths of their loving bond and bestows tremendous dignity of the role of mother-in-law.

For Spiritual Mothers

Many men and women in the church, whether young or old, did not have a biological or adoptive mother growing up (due to death, divorce, crises, or numerous other situations). Within the body of Christ, however, there is great hope for these individuals, as other women in the church can be used by God to bless such (literal or spiritual) “orphans” as their spiritual “mothers.” Mother’s Day is, thus, for them too.

One picture we get of this in Scripture is a shout-out Paul gives in Romans 16:13: “Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord; also his mother, who has been a mother to me as well.” Interestingly, Paul never mentions any specifics about his biological mother in his epistles (the closet we get is Gal 1:15). But the mother of Rufus is described as someone with such an important role in his life that he calls her spiritually his “mother.”

It is a great, if subtle, portrait of the influence a woman can have spiritually on those around her.

For All Women in Your Life

I have not tried to be exhaustive in working through every conceivable life situation of the women in the body of Christ. Nor has my goal been to signal that these life stages or circumstances define someone. Rather, I have simply tried to help us hear Scripture’s voice speaking about, and bestowing wonderful dignity on, all women in the life of the church.

Mother’s Day, when viewed comprehensively with a biblical lens, can then be a time of blessing not only for those who seem to fit the Hallmark pattern, but also the innumerable others who do not—for they all have a place in God’s pattern.

Even the pain that this holiday might bring up for many women is something which Scripture speaks about with tenderness.

Life stages, then, are not bad. They are realities in which God does great work. But let us not forget Paul’s teaching about how the church should honor all women regardless of their particular life stage: “encourage older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity” (1 Tim 5:2).

Here Paul describes motherhood metaphorically as a way of seeing how all Christians relate as a family to one another. All women in the church, as they age and mature, go from being spiritual “sisters” to “mothers.”

In that spirit, may we see Mother’s Day as a blessing for the entire body of Christ.

— Greg

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Dedicated to my wife, Kate; my mother, Patsy; my mother-in-law, Kathy; my step-mother-in-law, Ali; and my spiritual mother, Ruth Byrd (who has gone to be with the Lord)